Good stuff. Urinalysis time. Fun stuff.
On Jun 16, 2011 6:49 AM, "Madness" <nayrrizdaed@gmail.com> wrote:
> Rosewater was on the next bed, reading, and Billy drew him into the
> conversation,
>
> asked him what he was reading this time.
>
> So Rosewater told him. It was The Gospel from Outer Space, by Kilgore
> Trout. It was
>
> about a visitor from outer space, shaped very much like a
> Tralfamadorian by the way.
>
> The visitor from outer space made a serious study of Christianity, to
> learn, if he could,
>
> why Christians found it so easy to be cruel. He concluded that at least
> part of the trouble
>
> was slipshod storytelling in the New Testament. He supposed that the
> intent of the
>
> Gospels was to teach people, among other things, to be merciful, even
> to the lowest of the
>
> low.
>
> But the Gospels actually taught this:
>
> Before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well connected.
> So it goes.
>
> The flaw in the Christ stories, said the visitor from outer space, was
> that Christ, who
>
> didn't look like much, was actually the Son of the Most Powerful Being
> in the Universe.
>
> Readers understood that, so, when they came to the crucifixion, they
> naturally thought,
>
> and Rosewater read out loud again:
>
> Oh, boy-they sure picked the wrong guy to lynch that time!
>
> And that thought had a brother: 'There are right people to lynch.' Who?
> People not well
>
> connected. So it goes.
>
> The visitor from outer space made a gift to Earth of a new Gospel. In
> it, Jesus really
>
> was a nobody, and a pain in the neck to a lot of people with better
> connections than he
>
> had. He still got to say all the lovely and puzzling things he said in
> the other Gospels.
>
> So the people amused themselves one day by nailing him to a cross and
> planting the
>
> cross in the ground. There couldn't possibly be any repercussions, the
> lynchers thought.
>
> The reader would have to think that, too, since the new Gospel hammered
> home again
>
> and again what a nobody Jesus was.
>
> And then, just before the nobody died, the heavens opened up, and there
> was thunder
>
> and lightning. The voice of God came crashing down. He told the people
> that he was
>
> adopting the bum as his son giving him the full powers and privileges
> of The Son of the
>
> Creator of the Universe throughout all eternity. God said this From
> this moment on, He
>
> will punish horribly anybody who torments a bum who has no connections!
>
>
> --
> Posted By Madness to Madness Writers at 6/16/2011 03:49:00 AM
No comments:
Post a Comment