14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph..  Haha, what a geeky analogy.

Best one by far is the one about the genuine laugh , the sound a dog makes before it's about to vomit.  No way I'd come up with that.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.   haha, good one